Lately I’ve been noticing how I naturally react to certain situations. I would say normally I am a pretty positive person. In the past I was a major worrier however, and would get really frustrated over silly things. Then I wonder why that is… What is it that affects the way we behave?
Is it our upbringings?
Does it reside deep within us?
Do we have chemicals that set us off?
And when do we finally reach our breaking points?
I have had the tendency to hold things in, until I simply cannot stand it any longer. Naturally I would just deal and deal, and DEAL with things that bothered me. As u can imagine, this eventually leads to some kind of outbreak. Although if I would just confront the situation upfront, I may never have had any kind of major issue to overcome. Okay so this really should be quite simple, and we all know and have been told this at some point in our lives. It’s just a really do care about people! I’m always careful with how I might be articulating my words. Ultimately honesty is everything. If I expect someone to be REAL with me (and I do), then I better dang well do the same.
Most recently, I’ve been relating this to how I feel about auditioning and the dance industry. Say I audition for something, and I don’t get it. There could be several ways I could react to this experience:
1). I could be mad, non-understanding, and entirely blame it on those hiring for the job.
2). I could be upset with myself, get down, and do nothing to change it.
3). I could think about it objectively: The client could be looking for a specific ‘thing.’ It’s possible I am just not right for this role. If so, I could ask myself why? Does it have to do with my appearance? (Maybe) Or does it have to do with the style and vibe they are looking for, that I’m just not ‘getting?’
Whatever the reason may be I do learn A LOT from each audition that I go to. I learn by observing other dancers, noticing whom the choreographers are interested in, and realizing how important it is to get out there and be noticed. None of this is coming from an overly critical place however. There’s a difference. I am just learning. When it all comes down to it, I may just need to get my but into class! Okay so I do train and take class all of the time, but sometimes I fail to get everything in there. It’s hard. It does cost money. Really I need to be taking class in EVERY style, and yes this means every style of hip-hop.
For example, this past week I went to an audition where I felt a little out of place. I knew I was capable of executing the choreography, but I needed to get really rough with it. Naturally I’m one of those powerful, yet feel good kind of movers. So in this case, I knew I had to channel someone else. When I can think of a character or friend of mine as I dance different styles, it helps me get into it more easily. Really though. Not that I’m trying to be them; it just helps me get to the place I need to be within myself, that will bring out the right vibe. You know, many of us have different sides to ourselves, and we all have some kind of alter ego.
Eventually I started to feel more comfortable with the movement. We then learned a separate combo that felt more like me! It involved floor work, some legs and even an attitude. Yes! That made me happy 🙂 Nonetheless, I knew that whatever the outcome may be, I was there, getting my face out, becoming better known and learning from those around me. Oh and in case you didn’t know, networking is HUGE. Sometimes all you need is just for somebody to know you and believe in you. Yet of course you have to put trust in them so that they know you will get the job done, no matter what.
So basically, your mindset is EVERYTHING. Truly the mind can control anything your body might accomplish. I know when I get out of my head my body just goes! It’s like I’m invincible (well almost lol). It just feels different. When you psych yourself out, everything can go wrong. So I’ve learned to veer away from that. Might I add that is a lot easier to practice this kind of behavior, when there is so much opportunity to do so! In other places, Utah for example, there may only be one or two gigs available. In that case, that may be it, and you may only have once chance. Luckily out here I am auditioning, training and learning, constantly. It’s an ongoing process and I actually quite enjoy it!
It’s going to be a great week! I just know it 🙂 stay tuned