{ dating } & the month of .l o v e

Is it possible to be too picky?

I don’t think so.

While I was home I had a very young girl approach me at my brother’s basketball game. She asked:

Are you in love? Do you have a boyfriend?

Why aren’t you married? How old are you?

Do you have problems? Can’t your Mom help you?

Which lead to: you should be married at this age. You’re attractive, why doesn’t anybody like you?

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{ the only thing I was concerned about as a kid was cake & dancing }

While this proved to be one of the most hysterical conversations I have had in a long time, I couldn’t help but wonder. Where is she getting this information? Is this all that we are seen to be and the only role we as women are expected to fit into?

While being a mother and a wife is one of the most beautiful things I can think of: Is it right to teach our children of this custom at such a young age? Is this the only way?

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{ I was taught to wait until I was 30 anyway } photo by Matthew McDaniel

Then I began to think about my relationship with men. What is it that always pulls me away from them?

I often steer away from awkward small-talk conversations & meeting new people.

Have I lost hope in the male species or has it really become my problem?

7cfa67e868af189519e1701b040c65f4  { Pinterest @sydneysorenson }

Whether I’m overthinking this or not… What if there’s something to all of this!

Women are allowed to choose. We are allowed to be driven and ambitious. We are allowed to have our own careers and to not depend on men, even though it would be nice to.

What is dating nowadays anyway? Has it completely been lost? Is hanging out all we will ever do? What’s wrong with being an old soul? Give me some substance here. Blow my mind. Rack my brain.

http://www.yourtango.com/2014240282/20-things-you-ll-learn-about-dating-love-sex-your-20s#.VHYnbjHF9RJ

^^ the top 20 dating lessons your learn in your 20’s  ^^

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photos by Alex Valladares

{ bc time with you girlfriend’s is more fun anyway: ‘maybe they are our soulmates & guys are just people to have fun with’ – Carrie Bradshaw }

What I like to see:

Pure, genuine – old-fashioned DATING. Someone who takes me out and doesn’t just want to ‘hang’ out because we all know where that just might lead.

A guy who is ambitious and busy with his own life; although not completely absent from being involved in mine.

Without having complete immersion into my world, he at least ‘gets it’ or is at least open to learning more and appreciating what I do.

Oh yes, and someone who is REAL, who doesn’t tell me everything I want to hear.

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{ ‘getting ready’ — photos by Matthew Ryan Photography }

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Overall I appreciate the effort someone puts in more than anything.

Effort in the approach.

The date.

Getting to know you.

Resisting temptation.

The follow up

& consistency.

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For me this should all come into play, and more than anything I see people missing that first simple step: asking you out properly and organizing the details. So in my opinion it has already failed right then and there, with the wrong approach (which more often than not proves to be someone trying too hard or trying to play cool). That is why I don’t waste my time. It is the very reason why I say no over and over again. Our time is precious and if I can weed it all out beforehand, then I might as well.

Although I also understand how tenacious this may seem. There is such thing as giving someone a ‘chance.’ I will at least do this once. I’ll give someone a break on occasion. If the lack of effort persists, and the communicative language is not natural, I just won’t do it however.

After all, we often find ourselves choosing what we want to see anyway.

IMG_1052  { photo by Greg King }

So when the young girl asks why I am single, I will say this:

I am very picky and I think that is okay. Love is not something you need to rush. Anything extraordinary takes time.

She may be right about one thing though: Prince Charming is hard to come by and maybe I should stop looking for exactly that. Goober residue is more attractive to me nyway (go ahead and ask me about that one).

IMG_1051  { so I’ll just wait here & do my thing }

Either way recently I’ve found myself needing a break from it all.

I’ve loved sparking conversations with old acquaintances, of late.

We can be fond of memories can’t we? They are the architecture of our lives anyway.

IMG_1042  { sure it’s okay — I love thinking about all aspects of my life }  photo by Tavis Johnson  

So I hope you all enjoy your Valentine’s and the day of love, date or not. Love comes in all forms remember: mother, daughter, sister, and friends too. So send something special to those you love.

I’ll happen to be doing what I love most on this coming Vday { stay tuned for my next location }. Oh yes and I’m sure i’ll throw in a few episodes of Sex and the City meanwhile.

Chow!

Xoxo

Sydney

5 Comments Add yours

  1. jansorenson1 says:

    That little girl was obnoxious

  2. katie says:

    I loved this!! I totally agree with everything you say. I think society and women has placed the importance of us depending on a man. I recently watched an episode of “The Bachelor” and two women said if you are “in love” then you will do everything for them …BUT I disagree, if this were true, I would of gave up my career years ago… But instead I followed my path and dreams because a relationship will always be able to be there. So I don’t think there is any need to rush or chase.

    1. YES! I completely 100% agree. Certain aspects of society has a tendency to make us think this is the only way. I love seeing independent and driven women! I’m sure men would like to see that as well. We have to be ourselves first. It is what matters most, before we get into anything else. Thanks! 🙂

    2. Thank you! You’re right, this is a common occurrence. Although I am a fan of the Bachelor, the show doesn’t always give the best representation of how women should be represented. I do feel like we have come a long way however. Good for you! I love hearing that. There is no rush and everything will eventually fall into place. Thanks for sharing 🙂

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